


overture

by yoshinocherry



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Future Fic, M/M, i tried to make it accurate up to a point ok, lapslock, rating is tentative theres sex in this but its not explicit exactly, until its
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 00:41:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoshinocherry/pseuds/yoshinocherry
Summary: taeyong struggles with object permanence and johnny avoids thinking about the future entirely





	overture

in retrospect, johnny doesn't think either of them started this arrangement on purpose.

 

promotion cycles are long, schedules are exhausting. they're in thailand early to promote before the last rookies show. trying to be competent in the language and cultural customs so that they can make good impressions on fans and tv hosts alike, on top of everything else that comes with this job. they aren’t sharing a room, but taeyong collapses in johnny's bed at the end of the day once after the five of them watch a movie together. johnny lets it happen, they’ve known each other forever, it’s fine. they sleep like that when he does, and johnny likes it- taeyong is warm and soft and lets johnny touch his hair or play with his fingers if he wants to. he's easygoing (which is rare) when he's tired, and johnny thinks it's cute. he doesn’t even mind ten and dongyoung making fun of them the next morning.

 

—

 

johnny spends a lot of time training half-mindlessly with hansol while some of the members get to debut and they don’t. one day when he’s called to the third floor meeting room with eight other members and told that he and dongyoung will be joining nct 127, the only thing johnny can do is agree to the guidelines of the company in shock. _this unit is permanent_ , they tell the two of them, _you’ll live together starting next week_. the roommate assignments for the dorm rearrangement are based on practicality- sleeping schedules, cleanliness, room size, etcetera. their management is very logical in these situations, and johnny and jaehyun end up sharing one of the rooms. it's fine, johnny thinks, he and jaehyun are close and get along well. it doesn’t really save him the ping of disappointment though.

 

—

 

limitless promotions are a blur. the dorm arrangement works out so that johnny and jaehyun’s room is where everyone goes to relax- _you have the most most power outlets_ , says donghyuck, and sicheng nods at this- and johnny thanks god that includes taeyong. actually, johnny had to convince him _napping on the couch is bad for your back_ , so now taeyong naps in johnny’s bed (he doesn’t like to get in his own during the day, but johnny never questions him). taeyong works too hard, and whether it’s by his own free will or to overcompensate no one knows. johnny isn’t much use as far as comforting words go. taeyong goes to yuta and dongyoung for that, and johnny’s grateful for them- all johnny can say is _you don’t have to be a leader or nct’s center right now_ , when taeyong is up at 4 am after dropping a mug of tea on the kitchen floor. of course he can also say _you can be the center of my world though_ (this line is delivered with finger guns) to make taeyong laugh.

 

—

when they go back to thailand to do an endorsement and stay for another round of nct life, everyone’s glad for the break, even if it’s being filmed. ten is especially happy for obvious reasons, and his positive attitude is contagious.

 

taeyong and johnny end up in the same room by chance, with jaehyun dongyoung and ten in the other. johnny has to put a lot of effort into not getting flustered when taeyong greets him, laying on their shared bed like a bride on a honeymoon. (he does a pretty good job, he’s had to act cool for a while now if he’s honest with himself.)

 

later that night after the cameras have been turned off, johnny tries not to be surprised when he hears _i think i'd like to kiss you_ . he stops trusting himself with words and just has to nod at taeyong's _is that okay?_

 

it's overwhelming because taeyong might be the cutest person alive at this point in history, he's a fan favorite, the one strangers get starstruck around. and johnny is kissing him. but there's something easy about kissing your best friend- it's not stressful in the way a first date is because the intimacy isn't new, just the physical feeling of taeyong's lips against johnny's own. neither of them really have much experience (in fact, taeyong has none at all), but they figure it out. and it's nice. nice enough that they sort of get lost in it, and when taeyong pulls away to say _goodnight_ and _get some rest_ , it all feels a little like a dream.

 

but on other nights when they're alone (in thailand, on the couch in their dorm late at night, in hotels overseas), it happens again. and again. and again. and again.

 

—

 

127’s schedule dies down eventually, and all johnny has to worry about is the radio show which, although it means he has to look decent every single day of the week, isn’t terribly stressful since jaehyun’s there. the two of them are _the corniest duo on the planet_ , according to mark, but it works well for fanservice.

 

most importantly, everyone gets to sleep again most nights. of course taeyong still has bad days, stays too late in the practice room, and crashes in johnny’s bed when he comes home (johnny and taeil are the only members that never get annoyed at taeyong’s clinginess, but johnny is warmer apparently). johnny never questions taeyong, but taeyong explains on his own accord: _i can’t get in my bed if i haven’t showered_ , to which johnny replies _you’re gross_. taeyong pouts, and johnny laughs (kindly) and kisses his cheek. they fall asleep with johnny pressed against the wall and taeyong hogging the blankets.

 

johnny gets better at the comforting words thing, too. they're both homesick to some extent. johnny spends more time on the phone with his mom than ever, and taeyong spends less time talking in the enthusiastic and smiley way he does. they like sharing each other's space, and taeyong lets johnny talk nonsense to his heart's content. taeyong's never been one to tease him anyway. aside from all the kissing and (sort of ironic) cheesy romantic comments, johnny learns a lot of anecdotes from taeyong's life experiences- like the scar he got from his neighbor's cat as a child, but he's not afraid of cats, or how he recognizes fansites who have showed up to events since 2015, or how his first experience with alcohol was with older schoolmates back home and that's how he found out he can’t drink soju, or a list of reasons he thinks a certain exo member doesn't like him, or…

 

they never directly talk about taeyong’s past, but johnny can tell when he’s been reading too many comments anonymous people write about him. these are the only times johnny wishes he had some authority over taeyong, _but hey_ , he says instead, _you know you could never do anything to drive me away, right?_

 

—

 

the first time whatever it is they’re doing goes beyond kisses, they're in a hotel room in japan, the night after a guest performance at a concert. it was slightly easier than some of their other overseas schedules because yuta could handle the speaking for the most part, but johnny knows taeyong overthought the group introduction and put a lot of effort into showing off his japanese comedy knowledge. johnny has never seen taeyong snap in his life, but he's learned to be able to tell when he's faking enthusiasm for everyone else's sake. this is one of those nights- johnny hears the forced politeness in the high pitch of taeyong's speaking voice when they're thanking the venue staff on the way out.

 

so he does what he can- lets taeyong shower first, lets him pick which of the two beds he wants to sleep on. taeyong is still sulking when johnny returns from his own shower, so he offers a back rub. this isn't unusual, johnny sitting behind taeyong and gently working his hands over his back as taeyong flips through channels on the hotel tv. as he works on the tense muscle near taeyong's lower back, the younger starts to get more responsive- it eventually devolves to questionable whining noises and _you're so good with your hands, johnny_ . all it takes is johnny saying _this would be easier if you didn't have a shirt on_ for the mood to change just enough- and johnny isn’t used to tension between them, but he doesn’t exactly want to stop.

 

as soon as taeyong's t-shirt is on the floor by the other side of the bed instead of covering his soft skin, johnny goes back to work, but with lighter, teasing touches. taeyong whines, _you're being mean_ , and johnny places his hands on taeyong's waist and draws the other closer to him. he murmurs an _is this okay?_ against taeyong's neck in between kisses, which get more insistent as soon as taeyong whispers _yes_ in agreement. johnny knows he can't make marks anywhere on taeyong's skin because they still have to go out in public tomorrow, but god does he want to.

 

and then he notices (not that it's difficult to do so, as taeyong never wears anything more than shorts when he sleeps) that taeyong is hard from all the attention. _tae, do you want me to help with this?_ he says softly, calmly, his lips still on taeyong's neck. _o-of what_ , is the reply he hears. _i want to touch you, is that okay? do you want me to_ ? and taeyong whines, _yes, fine, wherever you want-_

 

and so johnny takes his time, moving his hands from their place on the taeyongs's waist, touching his smooth chest as the other lays his head back on johnny's shoulder. he moves to taeyong's thighs, which are also incredibly soft, and taeyong hums when johnny's hands drift higher on his legs. when he moves his right hand to the waistband of taeyong's pajama shorts, he looks over to the other's face. taeyong's eyes are shut tight.

 

_is this still okay? i can stop if you're-_

 

_i'm okay johnny, keep going, please, please._

 

and johnny obliges. taeyong makes the sweetest noise when he does, and johnny plants a kiss under the other's jaw. he stops teasing, and it's wonderful. taeyong buries his face in johnny's neck at the first opportunity, and johnny traces soothing circles on taeyong's hipbone with his left hand in time with the movements of his right.

 

johnny doesn't know what being in love feels like but he's pretty sure he and taeyong aren't in love, and it's okay. jerking off your best friend is simple, or maybe it's just simple because it's taeyong and he likes taeyong a lot. it helps that taeyong (his voice, his staggered breaths against johnny's neck, the way he wraps his pretty hands around johnny's bicep) is very, very cute, which takes up johnny's capacity of things he can focus on.

 

taeyong is mostly incoherent, but johnny definitely hears _i'm close_ . he hums and responds with _do you want this?_ at which taeyong moans his answer. so johnny lets taeyong finish and gently lays the other down so johnny can clean up. when he gets back, he tucks taeyong under the covers (even though he knows taeyong is still awake) and climbs into the hotel bed beside him. _thank you_ , he hears. _for what, tae?_ taeyong sighs. _for... helping me relax_ , he says, _and i'm sorry i'm too tired to return the favor_ . johnny just laughs. _i wouldn't ask you to, you're exhausted. get some sleep._ they say their goodnights and fall asleep like that, together.

 

—

 

_i'm sorry i don't... reciprocate more... it's just hard because... because._

 

_yeah._

 

_yeah._

 

_it's okay, tae._

 

_it is?_

 

_you're my best friend, dummy. i wouldn't make you do anything._

 

_you're really the best you know._

 

_i know. and it's not like i don't enjoy myself either. you respond to everything, it's good for my ego._

 

_god. please, please shut up._

 

_night, taeyong._

 

_goodnight johnny._

 

—

 

johnny's 23rd birthday celebration is held when nct 127 are back in thailand for a fanmeeting. it’s fun, a lot of fans even congratulate him in korean or english. and later, johnny gets to eat fancy barbecue with nearly everyone he treasures most, nothing much to complain about.

 

they have cake at the hotel and someone (dongyoung, probably) manages to acquire alcohol, and it's bittersweet with just nine of them. thankfully, sugary alcohol is easy to drink and johnny stops paying attention to the fact that ten isn’t there and is probably too busy preparing to debut in china to call him. sicheng and dongyoung gift him fancy headphones with a case as a shared gift, he gets joke gifts from the younger boys and yuta. taeil somehow found a set of dvd's of movies set in chicago. jaehyun and taeyong both give him video games- _and i forgot something in the room, i'll just give it to you later_. there's frosting everywhere, everyone hugs him. johnny is happy.

 

when they do get back to their shared hotel room, johnny asks taeyong about the other gift. _t_ _omorrow, when you're not... drunk. i put a lot of thought into it_. johnny doesn't question taeyong, he just takes this information to bed with him.

 

—

 

when he wakes up the next morning, taeyong isn't in bed next to him anymore. he hears the shower running, and asks if it's okay to come in and brush his teeth. _yeah, it's fine_. taeyong's voice sounds strained, so johnny assumes he's hungover and sets a glass of water on the bedside table. he sits on the edge of the bed and flips through the channels on the tv in their room.

taeyong walks out of the bathroom in an oversized t-shirt. _do... you want your other gift now?_   johnny nods, _sure_. taeyong walks to the other side of the room, gets something out of his luggage, and returns to stand in front of johnny with his hands behind his back. johnny holds his own hands out, with his eyes closed as taeyong asks him to, and is shocked to say the least when he opens them to see... a small bottle and a familiar looking foil packet. _you really want me to...?_ taeyong nods. a lot of thought, like i said. johnny motions for the other to sit in his lap, but taeyong gives him a quick kiss and sinks to his knees instead. _can i?_ johnny can only nod, speechless, as taeyong guides his sweatpants down his hips.

 

johnny doesn't know if taeyong has any experience sucking other people off, but his confidence is convincing. It’s a little unnerving, taeyong is never like this, as far as johnny knows- he’s usually reserved but god, johnny thinks he could die right then and there.

 

taeyong pulls off too quickly, but then he's in johnny's lap like he had asked earlier. _i did the prep work myself_ , he says, kissing along johnny's jawline, _but i want to know how your fingers feel too_ . johnny thinks he’s absolutely devious. It’s _one or two?_ And then it’s _yes, god yes, keep going_ , and then it’s _you're doing so well, you're so pretty like this, be loud for me, it's okay, i've got you_.

 

—

 

_i didn't really have it in mind as a birthday gift, you know…_

 

_i figured._

 

_it was just a convenient time, i made sure we'd have a room to ourselves and we didn't have to perform the next day…_

 

_you’re sly._

 

_only a little._

 

—

 

the first world tour nearly takes johnny out. while 127’s most recent tour in asia had been difficult given the collective desire to prove their worth, at least there had been no serious injuries. now johnny's back is bothering him, but there is an entire tour ahead- and he refuses to stay seated for 20-something concerts.

 

so he dances. and it's hard. it's so, so exhausting. he smiles on stage, but collapses in the hotel rooms each night. and they rotate rooms too, since their manager wants to make an effort to keep teamwork up. it's fine. johnny doesn't really play favorites with the others (though he is closer with jaehyun than most of the members, he can’t joke around with him usual because of his injury) but taeyong is special. and the kissing for comfort thing doesn't work when there's other people around, so he misses rooming with taeyong more often.

 

after a particularly rough concert in vancouver, johnny thanks all the positive forces in the universe that he's rooming with taeyong that day. he decides he wants a bath so he surrenders the bathroom to taeyong first.

 

when he gets back from soaking (the hotel soaps are admittedly not as soothing as it johnny's own at home, but it was still good) there's a package of american candy bars on the bedside table. johnny thinks taeyong's asleep so he plants a kiss on his temple before getting in bed next to him.

 

—

 

johnny doesn't know for sure what being in love feels like, but he thinks he might be in love with taeyong. when he wakes up in that hotel in vancouver knowing that taeyong has half rolled over on him sometime during the night, he thinks the tug in his chest is love, probably. he doesn't even mind that his arm is half numb.

 

—

 

2019 starts off better than the end of the year before. in november, mark and his parents had agreed that he needed a break from the group and it had thrown all the members off, so they laid low for the end of the year. but in january, johnny gets to be guest on sbs radio every week. his birthday is nice, too- his parents decide to visit korea even. all this time they're recording a second full album, and johnny’s competent enough in korean by now to write lyrics. the members like his songs, the year looks good.

 

—

 

_next to you_ is a good era. they have fun on stage. they have fun off stage (there's a lot of kisses). they promote in korea for a while, and it's crazy and exhausting, but that was to be expected. then they have a series of solo concerts, and they even get to feature nct’s chinese unit since they’re in korea to record. it’s incredible, seamless. hardly any difficulties at all. johnny even tears up at the end of the show, grateful to be able to share a stage with hansol after so long. 2019 is a good year for johnny, for nct as a whole. it flies by.

 

until the end of november.

 

they're just starting their promotions for their christmas album- the first stage went smoothly. and then they get back to the dorm, and taeyong calls them into the living room for a group talk. they sit on the floor in a circle, grade school style, as usual.

 

taeyong speaks first, which is typical. but he's saying _they’re splitting 127 up next march,_ and the dizziness hits johnny like one of the bullet trains they take to get around in japan. he continues giving explanations. _They think our success hit a plateau and they want to try something new, there’s gonna be a meeting with the executives when promotions are over in a couple weeks, i wanted to tell you myself before they could,_ and _i’m really sorry_ . johnny looks up at taeyong just as he breaks down crying. _Thank you for letting me be your leader, you’ll all do so well wherever they place you_ , he sobs, and if any of the members hadn't processed it yet, they understand now. taeil is the first to join him in tears, and they all follow suit shortly after. johnny has a lot to think about, but for now all he just reaches out and holds taeyong's hand.

 

—

 

they don't talk much that night, but neither of them can sleep. Johnny knows taeyong is on the couch because he wanted to be alone, but johnny can’t be by himself tonight. johnny never questions taeyong, he knows that if taeyong wanted him to know something he would just say it, but he really, really wants to ask what else the higher ups said to him. he kind of wants to cry too, but he doesn't want taeyong to feel bad. so he just lays there, letting taeyong stroke his hair, which is getting longer now, and he knows taeyong likes it that way.

 

taeyong's hand drifts down to graze over johnny's features- his eyelashes, his cheeks, his nose, his jawline, then his lips. johnny kisses his fingertips.

 

—

 

For the next few months, johnny keeps track of all the details: taeyong’s gentle way of speaking (even when the words are serious), the look in taeyong's eyes as johnny leans over him, the way taeyong falls down laughing at yuta’s jokes, how taeyong's hand looks and feels wrapped around his thigh, the way taeyong wipes his tears away when he realizes johnny is crying one afternoon when they’re in bed trying to nap.

 

—

 

helping everyone move out of their dorm is the most difficult part of it all. acting normal for 3 months, knowing the special digital single they released in february 2020 was their last as nct 127, nothing really compares to this. if it were anything other than helping his best friend leave, johnny would be touched that taeyong actually let him help with something- taeyong has learned to be remarkably independent.

 

but johnny shuts up and helps taeyong move boxes out of his and taeil’s room. _i have something for you_ , taeyong says out of nowhere, and he pulls a train ticket out of his suitcase and scribbles on it. _my last autograph as... as a 127 member_ . i wouldn't want anyone else to have it. johnny can't say anything but _thank you_ as he holds taeyong tight in an embrace on their last day as housemates.

 

—

 

_i'm gonna miss you like this, tae._

 

_like what?_

 

_you're cute when you're sleepy._

 

_you mean i'm not cute all the time? i take offense to that._

 

_hush, you know what i mean._

 

_i know. but we'll still see each other…_

 

_i know, my door is always open. but we won't be together every day for years on end._

 

_it's okay. that's what memories are for, right?_

 

_i suppose._

 

_i love you, i think. not just in “we’ve been friends for years” kind of way._

 

_i know._

 

_i never wanted to tell you because everything has always been easy with you, but it's not easy anymore anyway so you might as well hear it._

 

_it's okay. i could tell, and i feel the same, i just didn't do anything about it._

 

_it's for the best that we never... make anything official, isn't it?_

 

_probably._

 

_not much would have been different._

 

_i know, but i would have liked it i think._

 

_i'll miss this too, for the record._

 

_i know._

 

_goodnight, johnny._

 

_night, taeyong._

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if the style of this fic is hard to follow, i'm working on the whole dialogue thing!


End file.
